We’ve had sub-zero temperatures for several days over here in the 2nd happiest town in the UK…
Yes, that’s right, the town in which The Man Who Cycled to Bhutan lives, just so happens to be the 2nd happiest in the UK. At least that’s what a recent survey has indicated. Now, putting the quality of that survey aside for a second, I can’t help but be amused at the chances of this happening.
It might be that I’ve either got a nose for finding happiness or that happiness has a nose for finding me? Maybe it’s a bit of both. Or it could just be pure happenstance? Or what about the possibility of it being absolute nonsense?
What have I got to do with it?
I’ve entertained the first two explanations a little – that I’ve got something to do with it. Happiness inducing as it may be to believe either of these two explanations, both only seem to give my ego a little puff. Not only will that ego-puff not serve anyone in the long run, but it wouldn’t do much for my happiness-expert credibility either. I mean, it is essential to look deeper…that’s where happiness worth holding onto always comes from.
To contest the first point, it’s worth saying something about how I came to this town. It’s simple, when the pandemic broke out in 2020, and I was still largely roaming about on a bicycle, I needed somewhere to live, and quick. The hills in this town were a big clincher for me, and they would turn out to soothe my soul in difficult times since being here. But it’s not like there was a lot of choice at that time. I arrived here more or less by chance.
There might be a bit more plausibility in the “happiness finding me” story. My work is community based. I won’t go into details but I care about people professionally. And then there is all that smiling I do around and about town. Maybe I’m part of creating all this happiness we have here. Maybe. But…
What about it being absolute nonsense?
This is my favourite story of all. One of the wisest things I’ve learnt about happiness, about life really, is to question who is telling me this curious fact, and why they are telling me it. In this case the survey was conducted by Rightmove, the UK’s number one property website (according to them), and mostly I’m wondering about what’s in it for their business to pronounce my town as the 2nd happiest in the UK. And what about all the other towns on the list too? Their priority is to their shareholders, not helping people find happiness.
I mean it might be genuine and, that they surveyed over 20,000 people, does seem impressive. But then since, according to the ONS, there are more than 1,000 towns in the UK (urban populations between 5,000 and 225,000), that works out at about 20 people per town if it were proportionately sampled. Hardly reliable. What did they ask about happiness exactly? And what about other crucial details? I hate to kill their thunder, and yours too…but…this kind of vested-interests bullshit needs to be called out…
Just being joyful in the happenstance of whatever it is
But then, that doesn’t mean there is not a little truth in it. It’s a nice place. And hopefully it won’t attract more people to come live here thinking that happiness is something to be chased. One of the things that stands it in good stead is how overlooked it is as a town.
I’m not only person who goes around smiling here. I mean there is 50% chance a passer-by will say hello. That’s the kind of place this is, and its long been like that from what I can tell, and it suits me just right. Connection to others is the single most important happiness factors and we have that in abundance here. The hills have been here longer than me, too.
I’ve been enjoying thinking about the chances of it all, of the survey, of where I live, of the magic of life, as I’ve sat outside my favourite local friendly café drinking coffee and making the most of what little sun there is in these winter months. The occasional person saunters by, probably making a passing comment about the cold, I look at the buildings with the pine trees that give me Swiss village vibes, and the crystal blue skies with a still visible three-quarter moon in the sky, there are no distractions and no-one racing by, and yeah it feels good being in this town. I feel gratitude for where I find myself. At last…but that has nothing to do with the town.
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Thank you for reading this article. If you’d like to read similar articles on happiest places go here.
And if you’d like to get deeper into happiness with me then consider getting my book A Journey For Happiness: The Man Who cycled to Bhutan – order here.
journeyforhappiness.co.uk 
Hey there , just read your story about finding the second happiest place in the UK…. well, congratulations ! I guess , there is always room for improvement . I am trying to imagine , dwelling in the happiest place in the UK and feeling miserable. Wouldn’t one feel like an absolute failure. Here I am in the happiest place and it just doesn’t seem to infuse me with its magic , what’s wrong with me ?
Some wise dude once said , the thing about happiness is not to seek it . And those real state surveys , being a marketing exercise , try to tell you that happiness is a nice house in a happy town .And we have just the place for you.
Meanwhile I may arrive in Happytown with all my luggage , suitcases full of disappointments, failed attempts , set backs and an inner fragility which clings to the hope: this place better works for me …
‘Wherever you go , you take yourself along ‘ is what I’m getting at. The ‘ locus ‘ of our existence is our body and mind , no matter where we take it.
I have the suspicion that you would be ‘ happy ‘ no matter where you go, even in a shithole of a place because you understand the importance of connection and social interaction , the precious gifts that friendliness gives so freely .
Check out Polyvagal Theory about the layout of the human nervous system and it will blow your mind . Co- regulation is the buzzword . We are physically geared , with out nervous systems directed towards an ‘ other ‘ , centred around our face , to co- regulate, make eye contact, smile , talk , in other words communicate , relate , be present with , socialise .
Co- regulation charges our batteries and provides us the juice and energy so we can self- regulate when we cycle to Buthan and spend long ours on the road by ourselves .
It’s not the town , my friend , it’s people, it’s connection , it’s them who charge us up and connect us with our aliveness , …. people, no matter where .
Which is not to say that your little town isn’t a lovely place. I passed through it coming back from a couple of months of hiking further north . And yes , people up there seem to understand the importance of connection. I found them to be open , easy going , unpretentious and curious .
So, enjoy, have a good Xmas and be well , cheers
Elmar
Hello Elmar, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Yes, it’s an unhelpful (and shallow) survey…and I agree about the additional struggle if you live in a proclaimed “happiest place” but feel miserable. That sort of thinking has been put forward to explain why suicide rates are so high in the “happy Nordic countries”…I agree about ‘wherever a person goes, they take themself along’ idea, but I think it’s also important to bear in mind that we are also shaped by where we’re from and our experiences, which for me would be my wider journey, as well as all the places I’ve lived in, and all the people I’ve ever met. So, I wonder, what is the self? But yes, the importance of connection is better understood here…and for now I’m a bit happy here. And getting happier. Christopher
That is good to hear .
I recently came across an knteresting Utube talk by a guy called Robert Lustig who explain the difference between Dopamine and Serotonin and what happens in the brain when the various neuro- tranmitters fire up …..
Check it out , it’s called ‘ Serotonin vs. Dopamine ‘ by Fitmind
Robert explains very nicely there what happens in our brains when we are experiencing a rush of one vs. the other ….
Neuroscience doesn’t explain everything but it helps to understand the internal drivers I find .
And if you’d ask a stoic , they would value contentment way higher than feelings and fleeting moments of happiness.
What is the self or the Self you ask …. with every passing day I seem to come up with a different answer to something that appears to evade precise definition . Is it the observer of our experiences within our minds ? Is there some kind of ‘ round table ‘ where all those aspects that appear to constitute me reside , observe , interpret , argue , create a narrative which I then call my life’s story ….. I have no idea ….
The world is an amazing place and to be alive , to consciously experience , to act , to participate in shaping the current Here and Now ….. that’s quite a ” trip ” don’t you think .
Have a good Xmas time of connection how ever you choose to celebrate . Be well , Elmar
Yes, it is quite a trip, this life…I’m quite partial to the self being the observer of our experiences. I find doing so connects me to the wider Self, which is just watching all of this play out, and my little self, looking out at all I can see and connected to all things, is part of that wider Self.
I agree it is important to understand biological workings, if nothing else so we don’t get lost in the comings and goings. For me there are more important deeper things to consider – contentment, purposes, connecting to that observer, connection to all things…
Let’s keep participating…be well these next few weeks. Christopher